my relationship to music began early in my childhood, as my father and his six siblings were all classical trained musicians and my admiration was great, as they were playing hours, so at the age of six, i started taking piano lessons.
still, the relationship to my father, his family and the instrument has been difficult and influenced my motivation to practice and play, till i lost completely interest during various periods of time.
however, as i got older, my love for music and the piano rekindled and my taste gradually refined, stirring towards romanticism and eventually to jazz and atonal music. anyway, as before, something didn’t feel quite right.
nowadays, it seems as if a part of me tried to pull myself out of the classical music strict and disciplined approach, whereas another part was still in search of a place in the aforementioned community of musicians that i had admired as a child.
when i moved to vienna for my studies, i had stopped practicing for a year and a difficult financial situation broke out an inner debate of whether i should continue playing classical music on the piano or not; i have never practiced again since then.
my preference for atonal music has finally cemented and the experimental electronic composition inflamed my interest to embrace the obsolescence of strict rules and boundaries in music creation.
reading about donald buchla’s first synthesizers in wire magazine, the works of pauline oliveros and morton subotnik inspired me to intensify my research and so, the buchla series-100 led me into analog synthesis.
though the cheaper eurorack format entered my cosmos soon afterwards, as these machines were still way out of reach, financially and for two years was satisfied studying the theory -, which, in the end, turned out to be a blessing -, until the financial difficulties settled and i purchased my first modules.
building my own modular system -, something that would uniquely resemble my idea of sound art and fulfill my own requirements -, was the source of lots of excitement. i found that an electronic gear is a thing to get obsessed with quite easily, often leaving ones budget to be the only weight on the brake.
my wish list of modules was a page-long ever-changing manifestation of the unreachable dream to build my individual, perfect instrument. luckily, a friend and some free workshops introduced me to soldering early on and so i could grow my system faster and had more time to engage with it.
effectively, in three years time after buying my first modules, i have learned a lot about the modular synthesizer; it is its own entity, not born exclusively for the purpose to serve me, nor anyone else.
by avoiding this hierarchical concept of a tool and its conductor, i started to get a different feeling towards my modular system – all the imperfections, restrictions, limitations and instabilities – and i started accepting and loving them all.
as soon as i gave the instrument more space for its own expression, some kind of mutual understanding arose; respect and appreciation has developed and shaped the way i play and evolve my compositions nowadays.
i tend to musically portray and recreate influential events from my past or present and the emotions associated with them.
the result are long lasting, slowly progressing atmospheres comprised of noisy and ambient soundscapes that create moods and colors, and i focus on deconstructive textures rather than melodic complexity.
each creation are live-recordings, and when listened deeply, can truly unfold its power of triggering genuine emotions and vivid imagery.
initially we played improvised sketches, though, ldq ysimaro has deepen the structure of the album with lyrics and samplers to bring forth the psychosomatic response of the feelings.
after a year of intensive work, we have finally produced the c-60 release, trauma.